Be killing sin or it will be killing you

Be killing sin or it will be killing you.

Mortifying sin has been one of the most excruciating processes for me. There are no shortcuts. It takes a ton of time and patience. I’ve failed too many times to count. When you finally think you’ve conquered it, it rears its ugly head. And if it doesn’t, others pop up in its place like a never ending whack-a-mole.

But I kept bending the knee of my heart, imploring him take my sins away. “Humble me, God. Humiliate me if you have to.” And so he did. But that didn’t take my sins away. “Make it hurt, Lord, when I sin.” And so he did. But that didn’t take my sins away. He has answered every one of my prayers for clemency and he gave me relief. But I kept on sinning, in spite of my best intentions and exhausting efforts.

I tried again, this time out of frustration and out of ideas. I ditched my own methods and finally surrendered, succumbed but not defeated. I withdrew to a dark corner yet again, drawing from the deepest recesses of my heart.

“I’m all out of ideas, God. You do it. You do it. You do it. I know you can. I’m begging you.”

And so he did. And he took my sins away.

Be killing sin or it will be killing you.

Perhaps John Owen was mindful of the one who tries to do it alone when he took the subject out of that sentence.

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